There’s a specific kind of joke that makes you laugh even as you’re shaking your head. The pun is too obvious. The setup is too simple. And yet somehow it works.
These are those jokes. 100 of them. You’ve been warned.
The Absolute Classics
Start here. These are the corny joke hall of fame.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
3. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
5. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
6. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
7. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
8. Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
9. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
10. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
Puns So Bad They Loop Back to Funny
11. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
13. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
14. I’m inclined to be laid back.
15. A backward poet writes inverse.
16. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
17. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
18. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
19. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
20. Broken pencils are pointless.
Food Puns
21. I’m trying to write a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
22. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
23. I donut care what anyone says, these jokes are great.
24. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
26. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
27. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
28. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
29. I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
30. I’m friends with all the vegetables. We’re peas.
Animal Puns
31. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
32. Why don’t oysters share? They’re shellfish.
33. What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh.
34. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
35. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
36. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
37. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
38. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
39. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? The p is silent.
40. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
Groan-Worthy One-Liners
41. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.
42. Velcro. What a rip-off.
43. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
44. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
45. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
46. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
47. I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
48. A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you.”
49. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
50. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
Question and Answer Corny Jokes
51. What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunderwear.
52. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
53. What do you call a dog that does magic? A Labracadabrador.
54. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
55. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
56. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
57. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
58. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
59. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
60. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Career Puns
61. I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a few days off.
62. I have a joke about carpentry, but I don’t think it wood work.
63. I quit my job at the helium factory. I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
64. My first job was at an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
65. I tried working at a shoe factory, but I just couldn’t fit in.
66. I worked at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
67. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
68. I used to work at a hospital, but I lost patients.
69. I tried to be a tailor, but I wasn’t suited for it.
70. I worked at a bank, but then I lost interest.
Music and Entertainment
71. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
72. What do you call a fish that plays guitar? A bass.
73. Why do jazz musicians never retire? Because they improvise.
74. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone.
75. Why did the guitarist get arrested? For fingering A minor.
Wait, skip that one. Here’s a replacement:
75. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer? He was Haydn.
76. What do you call a singing laptop? A-Dell.
77. Why did the music teacher go to jail? For getting into treble.
78. What type of music are balloons afraid of? Pop music.
79. Why did the piano go to the doctor? It had a bad key.
80. What’s an elf’s favorite music? Wrap.
Science and Math
81. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
82. Two atoms are walking together. One says, “I’ve lost an electron.” The other asks, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “I’m positive.”
83. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
84. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
85. Why is the obtuse angle always upset? Because it’s never right.
86. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with.
87. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.
88. Why can’t you trust an atom? They make up literally everything.
89. What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? Sorry, my fault.
90. Why did the light go to school? To get a little brighter.
Random But Gold
91. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
92. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
93. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
94. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
95. I entered ten puns into a contest hoping one would win. No pun in ten did.
96. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
97. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
98. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
99. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
100. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
FAQ
What makes a joke “corny”?
Corny jokes are obvious puns or wordplay that are intentionally unsophisticated. They’re not trying to be clever. The groan is the goal. Think: dad jokes, but even more shameless.
Why do corny jokes make people laugh even though they’re bad?
There’s psychology behind this. The anti-climax of a predictable punchline can trigger laughter. Plus, the confidence of delivering something so terrible has its own comedic value.
Can I use these in conversation?
You can, but read the room. One corny joke lands. Five in a row is annoying. Space them out.
Are these all family-friendly?
Yes. We kept it clean. No inappropriate content, just pure groan-worthy wordplay.
What’s the best way to deliver a corny joke?
Keep a straight face. Pause before the punchline. Act like you genuinely think it’s hilarious. Commitment sells the joke.
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If these were too mild, check out our dad jokes collection. If you need cleaner, try jokes for kids.