Finding jokes that make kids laugh without making parents cringe is harder than it should be. But don’t worry — we’ve got you. These clean jokes for kids are silly, simple, and actually funny. No awkward punchlines, no iffy double meanings — just good, goofy humor perfect for bedtime, lunchboxes, or the backseat on long car rides.
Whether you’ve got a little comedian at home or just need something lighthearted to lift the mood, this list of 100 kid-friendly jokes is fun for all ages and safe for any crowd.
Let’s get giggling.
Animal Jokes That Kids Love
- Why did the cow go to space?
To visit the Milky Way! - What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop. - Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools. - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear. - Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse!
Food Jokes for Hungry Minds
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! - Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well. - What did the cupcake say to the fork?
You want a piece of me? - Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
It felt crummy. - What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key.
Silly Q&A Jokes
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school. - What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus. - Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot! - What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner. - What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m changing!
Knock-Knock Jokes (Kid-Tested, Parent-Approved)
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moo! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a scary movie!
Short and Sweet Giggle-Starters
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
- Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
- What musical instrument is in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
- What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey.
- What did zero say to eight? Nice belt.
- Why was the math lecture so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
- Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
- Why was the broom late? It overswept.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
- Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? It was a little hoarse.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
- What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
- What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
- How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- What did one plate say to another? Dinner’s on me.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers? They were odd.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy.
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
- What is a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple.
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
- What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up the pants.
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he’s a fun-gi.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
- How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
- Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- Why did the banana wear sunscreen? Because it peeled.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
- What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone.
- Why was the calendar always stressed? It had too many dates.
- What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
- What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
- How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot.
- How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
- Why did the shoe go to the doctor? It had a heel-ache.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
- What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
- Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was stuffed.
- What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
Wrapping It Up
Clean jokes don’t have to be boring — they just need the right mix of silly and smart. These kid-friendly jokes are perfect for your next road trip, school lunch, or rainy day at home. Plus, they’re parent-safe — no awkward explanations required.
Want more? Keep browsing alldayjokes.com for more laughs for every age. We’ve got joke lists, puns, knock-knocks, and way more coming soon.