Laughing Whiskers: 100+ Mustache Jokes To Tickle Your Funny Bone

Everybody loves a good joke, and if it’s about something as universally recognized as a mustache, it’s bound to get a chuckle. Whether you’re a fan of the handlebar, the pencil, or the classic Chevron, our collection of ‘mustache jokes’ is sure to bring a smile to your face. From the delightfully punny to the outright hilarious, we’ve curated a list to please every sense of humor.

So, let’s jump right into it and let these mustache jokes tickle more than just your whiskers!

Table of Contents

25 One-Line Mustache Jokes

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “Why don’t mustaches ever get lost? They always go straight under the nose!”
  3. “Did you hear about the mustache that was an artist? It could really draw on the face.”
  4. “Why was the mustache always happy? It found its place above the lip but below the nose.”
  5. “What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Expresso, it gives them a real buzz.”
  6. “What did the mustache say to the beard? ‘You grow on people.'”
  7. “I don’t always tell mustache jokes, but when I do, I whisker them.”
  8. “Why are mustaches the best at keeping secrets? They never spill the beans; they always ‘stache’ them!”
  9. “What’s a mustache’s favorite month? ‘Movember’, of course!”
  10. “Why did the mustache go to the party? It heard it was a ‘stache bash!”
  11. “Why do mustaches make terrible detectives? They always ‘stache’ the evidence.”
  12. “What did the dad’s mustache say to the son’s mustache? I’m ‘grow’n on you.”
  13. “Why are mustaches so energy efficient? They always go with the ‘grain’.”
  14. “Why did the mustache break up with the beard? It was tired of playing ‘second fiddle’.”
  15. “Why did the mustache go to the barber? It wanted a ‘trimendous’ makeover.”
  16. “What do you call a gathering of mustaches? A ‘stache bash.”
  17. “What did the razor say to the mustache? ‘We need to break up; it’s not me, it’s you.'”
  18. “What do you call a mustache on a tin can? A ‘can-stache’!”
  19. “Why did the mustache get promoted? It always goes straight to the ‘point’.”
  20. “Why do mustaches love mirrors? They love to ‘reflect’ on their style.”
  21. “Why did the mustache go to school? To get ‘edgy’cated.”
  22. “Why do mustaches never lie? They can’t ‘shave’ the truth.”
  23. “What did the mustache say to the hat? ‘You go on ahead, I’ll hang around here.'”
  24. “Why do mustaches make great comedians? They always ‘crack’ a smile.”
  25. “What’s a mustache’s favorite food? ‘Lip’ smacking good burgers!”

25 Two-Part Mustache Jokes

  1. Why did the mustache get a time-out? Because it was acting too ‘hairy!’
  2. What did the razor say to the rebellious mustache? ‘You need to ‘shave’ up or ship out!’
  3. Why couldn’t the mustache become a politician? Because every time it tried to make a ‘point’, it got ‘trimmed’ down.
  4. Why did the mustache stop playing cards with the beard? Because it always knew when it had a ‘hairy’ hand.
  5. What did the mustache say to the lips? ‘We must always ‘stick’ together!’
  6. Why did the mustache get invited to the party? Because it really knows how to ‘brush up’.
  7. Why did the mustache go to therapy? It had some ‘trimming’ issues to handle.
  8. What did the hat say to the mustache? ‘You really know how to cap things off!’
  9. Why did the mustache join the circus? It always wanted to be part of a ‘hairy’ raising experience.
  10. Why don’t mustaches ever get lost? They always ‘know the roots’.
  11. What did the mustache say during the food fight? ‘I ‘mustache’ you not to get cream on me!’
  12. What do you call a mustache that’s been through a lot? A ‘fringe’ veteran.
  13. Why don’t mustaches get hired as detectives? Because they always ‘bristle’ at danger.
  14. What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? ‘Brush’ rugby.
  15. Why did the mustache visit the psychologist? It was having trouble getting over the ‘lip’.
  16. What did the mustache say after a long day? ‘I’ve been ‘waxed’ off my feet.’
  17. What do you call a mustache that can play the piano? A ‘hair-o’ of music!
  18. Why do mustaches never give up? Because they always ‘hair-dle’ the pressure!
  19. Why don’t mustaches ever get arrested? Because they always make a ‘clean shave’ getaway.
  20. What do you call a mustache that can sing? A ‘barber’ shop quartet!
  21. Why do mustaches make terrible boxers? Because they can’t throw ‘punch’ lines.
  22. Why was the mustache bad at hide and seek? Because it always ‘broke cover’.
  23. Why did the mustache bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to ‘wax’ lost.
  24. What do you call a mustache that’s gone bad? A ‘rough’ stubble.
  25. Why did the mustache never get into fights? Because it didn’t want to ‘tache’ anything.

Ready for more? Stay tuned as we roll out more mustache-themed jokes. Up next, the hilarious world of mustache puns. You don’t want to miss it!

25 Mustache Puns for a Good Laugh

  1. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
  2. The secret to a great mustache is to always handlebar with care.
  3. When it comes to grooming, remember to comb over your options.
  4. I tried to trim my mustache, but I couldn’t cut it.
  5. I used to hate my mustache, but it grew on me.
  6. Mustaches that start arguments always get straight to the point.
  7. He got a mustache tattoo because he wanted permanent stubble.
  8. I met a mustache once. It was a brush with fame.
  9. I have a love-hate relationship with my mustache. Sometimes, it just gets under my nose.
  10. Did you hear about the stand-up mustache? It always brings the brush laughter.
  11. The mustache’s story was so intriguing, I couldn’t whisker myself away.
  12. I don’t trust anyone with a clean-shaven face. It’s like they have something to hide.
  13. Mustaches love drama. They always want to be part of the hairy situation.
  14. A good mustache should never be taken for granted. It’s truly a feat of upper lip strength.
  15. When it comes to mustaches, don’t just brush them off.
  16. I love a good mustache joke. It’s always a close shave between laughter and groans.
  17. Mustaches have been in style for centuries. Talk about facial hair-storical significance!
  18. What does a mustache do when it’s ready for bed? It goes to rest its bristles.
  19. I wanted to make a joke about my mustache, but it seemed too trim and proper.
  20. Mustaches should come with a warning label: “Caution: May cause uncontrollable smirks.”
  21. The best time to grow a mustache is whisker you get the chance.
  22. The mustache had to admit, being combed all the time was quite a stroke of luck.
  23. A good mustache isn’t just grown, it’s nurtured.
  24. When my mustache finally started to grow, I knew it was a sign of maturi-beard.
  25. And finally, remember: A mustache is not just facial hair, it’s a frame for your smile!

There you have it! 25 pun jokes about mustaches to tickle your funny bone. Keep that mustache growing and the laughter flowing!

10 Mustache-Themed Knock-Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Mustache.
    • Mustache who?
    • Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
  2. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Harry.
    • Harry who?
    • Harry up and answer, I’ve got a mustache problem to solve!
  3. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Whisker.
    • Whisker who?
    • Whisker good luck with that mustache of yours!
  4. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Stubble.
    • Stubble who?
    • Stubble the time it takes to shave that mustache, why don’t you?
  5. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Beards.
    • Beards who?
    • Beards you goodbye if you don’t trim that mustache!
  6. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Furry.
    • Furry who?
    • Furry your information, that mustache suits you!
  7. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Handle.
    • Handle who?
    • Handlebar mustaches are back in style!
  8. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Comb.
    • Comb who?
    • Comb your mustache, it’s getting a bit wild!
  9. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Shave.
    • Shave who?
    • Shave some time and trim your mustache!
  10. Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Razor.
  • Razor who?
  • Razor hand if you love a good mustache!

These knock-knock jokes are all in good fun, perfect for a laugh at your next gathering. Keep the mustache spirit alive and the humor flowing!

10 Longer Format Mustache Jokes

  1. How did the mustache find his long-lost brother at the family reunion? He had heard he was just a hair away!
  2. A man decided to grow a mustache. When his friend saw him, he asked, “Why the mustache?” The man replied, “Hair was a space, so I thought I’d fill it!”
  3. Why did the man’s mustache break up with him? It just couldn’t handle being taken for a ride every day.
  4. What did the barber say to the mustache when it was time to go? “It’s been a hairy situation, but it’s time to cut ties!”
  5. Why did the hipster mustache become a poet? Because every good mustache is a ‘stache of wisdom.
  6. Why did the mustache go to the party alone? It heard there would be “trim and tonic” and didn’t want to bring any “razor sharp” friends.
  7. How does a mustache send mail? By hair-mail, of course!
  8. What did the handlebar mustache say to the beard? “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  9. Why did the mustache get a promotion at work? It was always on the boss’s upper lip, never below it!
  10. What did the scruffy mustache say to the well-groomed one? “I see you’ve combed over.”

These longer mustache jokes add a bit more depth to the humor and are great for eliciting a hearty chuckle or two. They certainly take the mustache game up a notch or two!

10 Anti-Jokes About Mustaches

These anti-jokes challenge the traditional setup and punchline format, opting instead for a literal or straightforward response that often results in humor through absurdity or the unexpected shift in tone. Anti-jokes are a great way to mix things up and add some variety to your repertoire!

  1. Why did the man grow a mustache? Because he wanted to and it was his personal choice.
  2. What did the mustache say to the beard? Nothing, mustaches can’t talk.
  3. Why did the mustache cross the road? It didn’t, it’s just hair and cannot move by itself.
  4. How does a mustache answer the phone? It doesn’t, because it’s a facial feature and lacks the ability to engage in telecommunications.
  5. Why don’t mustaches go to school? Because they’re not sentient beings and don’t require an education.
  6. What did one mustache say to the other mustache? Nothing. Mustaches can’t speak.
  7. Why did the mustache go to the barber? It didn’t, the person wearing the mustache did.
  8. How does a mustache get to work? It doesn’t, mustaches don’t have jobs.
  9. What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Nothing, because mustaches don’t eat.
  10. What did the mustache do on its day off? Nothing, mustaches don’t have days off, they’re hair.

10 Limericks About Mustaches

There once was a man with a ‘stache, As sharp as a quick lightning flash, It was slick and quite neat, He looked quite elite, On his face, it made quite the smash.

A ‘stache on a face, well-groomed, Like a feather, it grandly bloomed, Worn with pride and with style, It drew many a smile, Its appeal, it could not be doomed.

A mustache was grown with some care, Its owner caused many to stare, It twirled at each tip, Quite hip, full of zip, It gave him a debonair air.

There once was a mustache so wild, On the face of a fun-loving child, Though his age it belied, It was worn with such pride, It left all who saw it beguiled.

There once was a ‘stache, thin and slight, Not bushy, but neat and just right, It was fine as a line, Its design quite divine, In the sun, it shone bright in the light.

On a gentleman, proper and prim, Lived a ‘stache that was full to the brim, As it wiggled and twitched, Folks were wholly bewitched, It became quite a fashionable whim.

A mustache, quite large, full of flair, Covered more than its fair share, It was bold, it was big, Like a furry old twig, Its size caused many a glare.

A ‘stache can inspire a grin, Whether it’s thick or it’s thin, With its curves and its twirls, As it whirls and it swirls, It’s a game that we all can win.

There once was a ‘stache, dark and sleek, Its style was quite unique, When he stroked it with pride, People stared, wide-eyed, Its praise, they could not speak.

A ‘stache, full of spirit and vim, Made its wearer look dashing and trim, When he walked in the room, Hearts would flutter and zoom, Such is the power of a ‘stache on a whim.

Wrap Up

And there you have it – a delightfully diverse collection of mustache jokes to suit any and all senses of humor. From one-liners to two-part jokes, puns to knock-knock jokes, we’ve got it all covered, and more. We’ve even thrown in some longer format jokes, anti-jokes, and limericks for a touch of the unexpected.

Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood, break the ice, or simply share a laugh, we hope these mustache jokes will come in handy. After all, humor is the best ice breaker. So next time, whether you’re in the company of someone who sports a mustache or just in need of a good laugh, you’ll be prepared with the perfect joke.

Remember, laughter is a universal language that brings people together, and a good joke can be the highlight of someone’s day. So, don’t hold back – spread some joy and share a laugh. After all, life is better when we’re laughing – and even better when we’re laughing about mustaches!