100 Corny Jokes: Short Puns and Groan-Worthy One-Liners

Browse 100 corny jokes about food, animals, work and science. Most are short puns or one-liners; choose a section below and pause before the punchline.

For one joke at a time, try the joke of the day.

Classic Corny Jokes

Start here. These are the corny joke hall of fame.

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
3. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
5. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
6. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
7. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
8. Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
9. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
10. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
11. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
12. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
13. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
14. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
15. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

Puns So Bad They’re Good

These loop back around from terrible to amazing.

16. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
17. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
18. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
19. A backward poet writes inverse.
20. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
21. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
22. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
23. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
24. Broken pencils are pointless.
25. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
26. The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
27. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
28. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
29. RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
30. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Food Puns

Tasty jokes for hungry comedians.

31. I’m trying to write a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
32. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
33. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
34. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
35. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
36. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
37. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
38. I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
39. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
40. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
41. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
42. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
43. A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
44. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
45. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.

Animal Puns

Wild jokes for animal lovers.

46. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
47. Why don’t oysters share? They’re shellfish.
48. What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh.
49. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
50. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
51. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
52. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
53. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
54. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
55. What do you call a dog that does magic? A Labracadabrador.
56. How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
57. Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
58. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
59. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
60. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.

Work and Career Jokes

Office-appropriate groaners.

61. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
62. I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a few days off.
63. I quit my job at the helium factory. I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
64. Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.
65. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
66. I got fired from the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
67. I used to work for a blanket company, but it folded.
68. I quit my job at the shoe recycling factory. It was sole destroying.
69. I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
70. Why did the accountant break up with the calculator? She felt like she was just a number to him.

One-Liner Groaners

Quick hits of corny goodness.

71. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
72. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
73. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
74. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
75. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
76. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
77. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
78. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
79. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
80. What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield.

Science and Nature

Smart-sounding jokes that are still very dumb.

81. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I probably wouldn’t get a reaction.
82. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
83. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
84. How do trees access the internet? They log in.
85. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
86. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
87. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
88. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
89. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
90. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

The Ultimate Groaners

Save these for when you really want to clear a room.

91. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
92. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
93. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
94. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
95. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
96. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
97. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
98. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
99. What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words? A thesaurus.
100. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

FAQ

What makes a joke “corny”?

A corny joke is usually a simple pun or play on words that’s intentionally cheesy. The humor comes from how obvious and groan-worthy it is, not from being clever or surprising.

Are corny jokes the same as dad jokes?

There’s a lot of overlap. Most dad jokes are corny, but corny jokes don’t have to be told by dads. The vibe is the same: clean, punny, and designed to make people groan.

Why do people like corny jokes?

They’re harmless, easy to remember, and work in almost any situation. There’s also something satisfying about a joke so bad it loops back to being funny.

Want more? Check out our jokes for kids or our 100+ best dad jokes.