Going back to school is stressful enough. These jokes won’t make homework disappear, but they might get a laugh on the bus.
Whether you’re a parent looking for lunchbox note material, a teacher wanting to lighten the mood, or a kid who wants to be the funny one in class, here are 60 jokes to get the school year started right.
First Day of School Jokes
Start the year with these.
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
2. What did the pencil say on the first day of school? I’m looking sharp.
3. Why do magicians do so well in school? They’re good at trick questions.
4. What’s the first thing you learn in school? The alphabet. After that, everything else is just spelling it out.
5. Why was the first day of school so tiring? Because it came after a long rest.
6. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
7. Why did the new student feel cold on the first day? He was sitting in the cool kids’ section.
8. What do you call a nervous new student? A fresh-man-ic.
9. Why was the music teacher excited for school? She couldn’t wait to conduct herself.
10. What did the clock do on the first day? It tocked everyone’s ear off.
Classroom Jokes
These work any time of year.
11. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
12. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.
13. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
14. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
15. What do you call a sleeping teacher? A nap-kin.
16. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To get to high school.
17. What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee.
18. Why did the student throw the clock out the window? To see time fly.
19. What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.
20. Why is history the sweetest subject? Because it’s full of dates.
Subject Jokes
Math
21. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
22. What did zero say to eight? Nice belt.
23. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
24. What do you call friends who love math? Algebros.
25. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t greater than anyone.
English
26. Past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
27. What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? A catalog.
28. Why do writers always feel cold? Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
29. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles. There’s a mile between each S.
30. Why did the verb break up with the noun? There was no action.
Science
31. What did the biologist wear on their first day? Designer genes.
32. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
33. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
34. Why can’t you trust an atom? They make up literally everything.
35. What’s a tornado’s favorite game? Twister.
History
36. Why did the Pilgrims sail to America? It was too far to swim.
37. How did the Vikings send messages? By Norse code.
38. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party? T-shirts.
39. Why was the medieval period so dark? Because there were too many knights.
40. What’s a mummy’s favorite music? Wrap.
Lunch Box Jokes
Perfect for notes in the lunch bag.
41. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
42. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
43. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
44. How do you make a lunchbox smile? Put a good joke inside.
45. What did the carrot say to the broccoli? Nothing. Vegetables can’t talk. But if they could, they’d probably tell jokes.
46. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? It felt crummy.
47. What’s a lunch’s favorite dance? The salsa.
48. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
49. What do you call a sad sandwich? A blue-gna.
50. What did the lunch say to the book? You’re pretty shelf-aware.
Bus and Recess Jokes
51. Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the school crossing.
52. What game do tornadoes like to play at recess? Twister.
53. Why don’t buses ever get lonely? They’re always picking people up.
54. What do you call a playground that doesn’t work? A broken record-breaker.
55. Why did the kid sit in the back of the bus? To get the last laugh.
56. What’s a swing’s favorite music? Swing music. (Obviously.)
57. Why did the ball go to school? To get a little bounce in its step.
58. What do you call a race on the playground? A sprint to the finish lunch.
59. Why did the slide get in trouble? It was going downhill fast.
60. What did the monkey say at the playground? This is bananas.
FAQ
What age group are these jokes best for?
Elementary school age, roughly K-5. The jokes are simple enough for younger kids but not too babyish for older elementary students.
Can teachers use these in class?
Absolutely. Starting class with a joke can help settle students and create a positive atmosphere. Just don’t overdo it or the jokes lose their impact.
How do I use these for lunch box notes?
Write one joke per note. Put the setup on one side and the punchline on the other for a mini surprise. Kids love the anticipation.
Are these appropriate for all schools?
Yes. These are clean, non-religious, non-political, and don’t reference anything inappropriate. Safe for any school setting.
When is the best time to use back-to-school jokes?
First week of school, the day after a long break, or any time kids (or teachers) need a mood boost. Monday mornings, specifically.
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For more school-friendly laughs, check out our jokes for kids or knock-knock jokes for preschoolers.
