Here is one clean joke for every single day of the year, and it changes on its own. Today’s is in the big box below. The whole point is you do not have to dig, just pop in, grab the joke of the day, and go make a kid groan. My two treat it like a morning ritual, and the first thing they do is tap ahead to their birthday.
Every joke is matched to its day, so you get snow jokes in January, fireworks on the Fourth of July, and something spooky on Halloween. Below the box, the full year is written out month by month if you want to browse or read ahead.
Joke of the Day for Kids
A brand new clean joke every single day of the year
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How the joke of the day works
Simple. Every calendar day has its own joke and it swaps automatically at midnight, no app and no signup. Bookmark the page and grab one at breakfast, in the pickup line, or whenever a kid says tell me a joke for the hundredth time.
Are some of these groaners? Absolutely. That is the job. A few are here only because my kids overruled me, and the ones I cut were either too tricky for little kids or just not funny out loud. What is left is the good stuff, one for every day.
Browse the whole year
January: New Year, Winter and Snow Jokes
Cold outside, so we start the year indoors with snow, snowmen, and a few resolutions nobody kept.
January 1 (New Year's Day)Why did the calendar look so nervous on New Year's? Because its days were numbered.
January 2What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
January 3What do you call a snowman's temper tantrum? A meltdown.
January 4What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
January 5Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
January 6What did one snowflake say to the other? You're one of a kind.
January 7Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.
January 8Why was the snowman digging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose. (My son laughed so hard at this one he got the hiccups.)
January 9What do you call an old, melted snowman? Water.
January 10How do penguins build their houses? Igloo it together.
January 11What do penguins wear on their heads? Ice caps.
January 12Why don't polar bears eat penguins? They can't unwrap them.
January 13What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
January 14What did the icicle say to the sidewalk? Watch your step down there.
January 15How do you stay warm in a chilly classroom? Stand in the corner, it's always 90 degrees. (This one gets repeated to the teacher every single time.)
January 16What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
January 17What did the snowman order at the diner? An ice-burger with extra chill.
January 18How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
January 19What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
January 20Why did the boy keep his trumpet outside in January? He liked cool music.
January 21What is a snowman's favorite dessert? An ice cream sandwich, obviously.
January 22What did one snowball say before the race? Let's have a snow-down.
January 23What kind of key doesn't open a single door? A monkey.
January 24What do you call a snowball that loves comedy? A real crack-up.
January 25Why was the math book chilly? Someone left it out in the snow.
January 26What do you call a snowman that won't behave? Abominable.
January 27How do you find a lost snowman? Just follow his tracks.
January 28Which side of a bird has the most feathers in winter? The outside.
January 29What do you call a group of snowmen throwing a party? A snowball.
January 30What is white and floats up instead of down? A very confused snowflake.
January 31What do you say to a snowman at the end of January? See you next flurry.
February: Valentine’s and Chilly-Day Jokes
Hearts, chilly mornings, and one groundhog who really needs a day off.
February 1What do you call a pile of cats on a cold February day? A meow-tain.
February 2 (Groundhog Day)Why did the groundhog want the day off? He was tired of the same old shadow. (If he sees six more weeks of winter, that is on him, not me.)
February 3What did the thermometer say in February? I am a few degrees under the weather.
February 4Why did the scarf go to school? It wanted to be a little warmer with friends.
February 5What is a snowman's favorite kind of chip? A cold one, straight from the freezer.
February 6Why did the boy wear two coats to paint the fence? The can said put on two coats.
February 7What do you call a bear stuck in the rain in February? A drizzly bear.
February 8Why are penguins good drivers? They always go slow on the ice.
February 9What did the big candle say to the little candle in winter? I am going out tonight.
February 10What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
February 11Why did the banana wear a sweater? Because it was a little chilly.
February 12What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frost and a lot of barking.
February 13How does the ocean say hi in February? It waves, even when it is cold.
February 14 (Valentine's Day)What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love you berry much.
February 15What did the stamp say to the Valentine? Stick with me and we will go places. (The valentine puns are peak groan and I stand by every one.)
February 16Why did the two birds get in trouble on Valentine's Day? They were tweethearts.
February 17What did one calculator say to the other? You can count on me.
February 18What do you call two ducks in love? A pair of quackers.
February 19Why did the cookie feel warm inside? It got a valentine.
February 20What do squirrels give each other in February? Forget-me-nuts.
February 21What did the light bulb say to its crush? I love you a whole watt.
February 22Why do skunks love Valentine's Day? They are very scent-imental.
February 23What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine's Day? My heart beats for you.
February 24What is a cat's favorite color in February? Purr-ple, with pink hearts.
February 25Why was the math test in love? It had a lot of problems it wanted to share.
February 26What do you call a very small valentine? A valen-tiny.
February 27What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, and your hand, and your hand?
February 28What do you write in a snail's valentine? You are one in a slow-million.
March: Spring, Wind and St. Patrick’s Jokes
The wind picks up, the shamrocks show up, and spring finally knocks.
March 1What kind of shorts do clouds wear in March? Thunderwear.
March 2Why is the wind so good at March? It really blows everyone away.
March 3What did the kite say on a windy day? I am really up for this.
March 4Why did the tree go to the barber in spring? It needed to trim its leaves.
March 5What do you call a rabbit with fleas in spring? Bugs Bunny.
March 6How does the sun listen to music in March? It turns up the rays.
March 7What flower talks the most in spring? Tulips, because they have two lips.
March 8Why did the gardener plant a light bulb? He wanted to grow a power plant.
March 9What did the dirt say to the rain in spring? If you keep this up, my name is mud.
March 10Why are trees so forgiving? Every spring they turn over a new leaf.
March 11What do you call a grumpy raincloud? A little under the weather.
March 12Why did the bee get married in spring? Because he found his honey. (My daughter thinks all bee jokes are the funniest thing ever invented. She is wrong, but I keep telling them.)
March 13What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
March 14How do you know when spring is here? When you can smell the flowers and hear the sneezes.
March 15What do you call a bear caught in the March rain? A drizzly bear.
March 16Why did the worm come out in spring? It heard the early bird was on vacation.
March 17 (St. Patrick's Day)What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
March 18Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they are always a little short.
March 19What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock.
March 20Why do people wear shamrocks and not real rocks on St. Patrick's Day? Real rocks are too heavy.
March 21How do leprechauns bake bread? With a lot of gold-en flour.
March 22What position does a leprechaun play in baseball? Shortstop.
March 23What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home? A lepre-condo.
March 24Why was the little seed so happy in spring? It finally got to grow up.
March 25What did the flower say to the bike? Petal faster.
March 26What is a tornado's favorite game? Twister.
March 27Why did the umbrella get a raise? It really covered for everyone in March.
March 28What do clouds wear under their raincoats? Thunder-pants.
March 29What did spring say to winter? Make like a tree and leaf.
March 30Why are frogs so happy in spring? They eat whatever bugs them.
March 31What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey there, bud.
April: April Fools’, Rain and Bunny Jokes
Rain, pranks, and bunnies. Wear boots.
April 1 (April Fools' Day)Why is everyone so tired on April 1st? They just finished a long March.
April 2What did one April Fool say to the other? You fall for everything.
April 3What monster plays the best April Fools' pranks? Prank-enstein.
April 4Why did the kid bring a joke book to school in April? For no reason, it was a total gag.
April 5What do you call a duck that loves April showers? A wise quacker.
April 6Why do we never tell secrets in a garden? The potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
April 7What falls in April but never gets hurt? The rain.
April 8How does a raincloud tie its shoes? With a rainbow.
April 9What do you call two rainy days in a row? A weekend, apparently.
April 10Why did the flower ride a bike to school? It wanted to grow-mmute.
April 11What did the puddle say to the rain? You are making a real splash.
April 12Why did the worm skip school in April? It was feeling under the weather and the ground.
April 13What do you call an alligator in a rain jacket? An investi-gator.
April 14What do you call a bunny with a great sense of humor? A funny bunny. (Every kid I know thinks they invented this joke. Let them.)
April 15Why was the Easter egg hiding? It was a little chicken.
April 16How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? Lots of egg-ercise.
April 17What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? A comedi-hare.
April 18Why did the bunny go to the dance? To do the bunny hop.
April 19How do you send a letter to the Easter Bunny? By hare mail.
April 20What kind of music do bunnies like? Hip-hop.
April 21What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hare-line.
April 22 (Earth Day)Why did the jelly bean go to school? To become a smarty.
April 23What did the rain say to the roof? Drip your worries away.
April 24Why are April flowers always calm? They know how to keep it together.
April 25What do you call a happy little cloud? A high pressure system.
April 26Why did the recycling bin win an award? It was outstanding in its field of trash.
April 27What did the big raindrop say to the small one? You are getting bigger, drop by drop.
April 28Why do trees hate tests in April? They get stumped.
April 29What did one leaf say to another in spring? I think I am falling for you, but later.
April 30What is a frog's favorite spring drink? Croak-a-cola.
May: Flowers, Bugs and Mother’s Day Jokes
Everything is blooming, the bugs are back, and moms get the spotlight.
May 1What did the bee say when it got home in May? Honey, I'm home.
May 2Why did the flower get in trouble at school? It could not stop bud-ding into conversations.
May 3What is a bee's favorite class? Spelling, because of all the buzzz.
May 4How do bees get to school? On the school buzz.
May 5 (Cinco de Mayo)What do you call a bug that can't sit still? A jitter-bug.
May 6Why was the caterpillar so slow to change? It needed to turn over a new leaf first.
May 7What do you call a butterfly that can't fly? A flutter-by that flutters by later.
May 8Why did the gardener quit? His celery was not high enough.
May 9What flower grows on your face? Tu-lips.
May 10What did the big rose say to the small rose? Hiya, bud.
May 11 (Mother's Day weekend)What did the mama broom say to the baby broom? It is time to go to sweep. (This is the joke I tell my mom every Mother's Day. She groans. It is tradition now.)
May 12Why do moms make the best math teachers? They always know how to multiply the snacks.
May 13What did the flower say to its mom? Thanks for helping me grow.
May 14Why did the boy give his mom a blanket? Because she was the warmest person he knew.
May 15What kind of flowers do you never give on Mother's Day? Cauliflowers.
May 16Why are ants never sick? They have little anty-bodies.
May 17What do you call a grasshopper that can catch? A good hopper, obviously.
May 18How do fireflies start a race? Ready, set, glow.
May 19What is a bug's favorite sport in May? Cricket.
May 20Why did the bee get an A? It was a real spelling buzz-er.
May 21What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor.
May 22Why was the ladybug so popular? She had spots in all the right places.
May 23What did one bee say to the nosy bee? Mind your own bees-ness.
May 24Why did the flower stop growing? It ran out of stem-ina.
May 25What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a bee? A honey bunny.
May 26Why do worms hate spring cleaning? They keep getting swept away.
May 27What is a bee's favorite haircut? A buzz cut.
May 28What did the dirt say when it rained in May? If this keeps up, my name is mud.
May 29Why did the tomato turn red in May? It saw the garden getting dressed.
May 30What do you call a spider on a warm May day? A web designer taking a break.
May 31Why are trees so relaxed in May? They finally leafed out.
June: Summer Kickoff and Father’s Day Jokes
School’s out, the pool’s open, and dads get their day.
June 1Why is the ocean always so friendly in June? It waves at everyone.
June 2What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time no sea.
June 3Why did the kid bring a ladder to the pool? He heard the high dive was calling.
June 4What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
June 5How do you make a tissue dance in the summer? Put a little boogie in it.
June 6What did the sun say on the first hot day? I am really burning up out here.
June 7Why did the strawberry cry in June? It was in a jam about summer plans.
June 8What is a shark's favorite summer sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
June 9Why do bananas wear sunscreen? So they do not peel.
June 10What did one wave say to the other? Nothing, it just gave a little splash.
June 11What is a dad's favorite kind of music on Father's Day? Pop. (I tell this to my dad every June. He pretends it is the first time.)
June 12Why did the dad bring string to the barbecue? In case he needed to tie the sauce down.
June 13What did the kid give his dad who has everything? A hug, because you cannot wrap that.
June 14Why are dads great at summer? They grill under pressure.
June 15 (Father's Day weekend)What do you call a dad who tells too many jokes in June? A pun-isher.
June 16What do you call a lazy kangaroo in summer? A pouch potato.
June 17Why did the sandcastle need a lifeguard? It kept getting washed up.
June 18What did the popsicle say on a hot day? Stay cool, this could get sticky.
June 19Why did the boy jump in the lake? He wanted to test the waters.
June 20What is a frog's favorite summer drink? Lemon and lime, hold the fly.
June 21 (First day of summer)How do you cut the ocean in half? With a sea-saw.
June 22What did the lifeguard say to the wave? You need to calm down.
June 23Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
June 24What do you call a snowman on the beach in June? A puddle with a sunburn.
June 25Why did the crab never share its beach toys? It was a little shellfish.
June 26What is the best day to go to the pool? Sunday.
June 27How do jellyfish get around in June? They go with the flow.
June 28Why did the sun go to school before summer break? To get a little brighter.
June 29What did the summer say to the spring? I will take it from here.
June 30Why was the beach ball always invited? It really knew how to bounce around.
July: Sunshine, Cookout and Fireworks Jokes
The hottest stretch of the year. Fireworks, popsicles, and sunburns.
July 1What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
July 2Why did the hot dog win the race at the cookout? Because it was on a roll.
July 3Where do fish keep their money in the summer? In the riverbank.
July 4 (Independence Day)Why did the firework go to school? To get a little brighter before the big show. (Objectively weak. It stays because seven-year-olds think brighter is hilarious.)
July 5Why did the ice cream cone bring a jacket? In case it had a meltdown.
July 6What did one flag say to the other on the Fourth? Nothing, it just waved.
July 7Why are fireworks like a good joke? They both start with a spark and end with a bang.
July 8What is red, white, and blue and travels fast? A patriotic race car.
July 9How does the sun sign its letters in July? Yours truly, the hot one.
July 10What do you call a sunburned patriot? Well done.
July 11Why did the grill get an award? It was smokin' at its job.
July 12What did the burger name its kid? Patty.
July 13Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
July 14What is a shark's favorite July food? A hot dog, no relish for the fins.
July 15Why did the corn get an award at the barbecue? It was simply a-maize-ing.
July 16What did the lemonade say on a hot day? Stay cool and stir things up.
July 17Why did the beach blush? Because the sea weed.
July 18How do you know the ocean is friendly in July? It keeps waving.
July 19What do you call two ants that run away to get married? Ant-elopers.
July 20Why did the sandwich go to the beach? It wanted to be a little more well-bread.
July 21What is a scarecrow's favorite July fruit? Straw-berries.
July 22Why did the popsicle go to the doctor? It was feeling a little melty.
July 23What did the ocean do when it saw the fireworks? It gave a big wave.
July 24Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because then they would be bagels.
July 25What did the sun say to the moon in July? You look a little pale, get some rays.
July 26Why did the kid put ice cream on his book report? He wanted a cool story.
July 27What do you call a dog on the beach in summer? A hot dog looking for shade.
July 28Why are mosquitoes such bad guests in July? They are always biting the hand that feeds them.
July 29What is the best thing about summer break? Everything, according to my kids, who tell me daily. (I asked what the best joke of the summer was and they said this page. I did not pay them to say that.)
July 30Why did the swimmer bring a pencil to the pool? To draw a bath.
July 31What did the firecracker say to its kid? Have a blast, but be home by dark.
August: Beach, Bugs and Dog-Days Jokes
Beach trips and the last gasp of summer before the backpacks come out.
August 1Why is the beach always calm in August? It has all its sand together.
August 2What did the ocean say at the end of summer? Sea you later.
August 3Why did the kid bring a suitcase to the beach? He was ready to pack some waves.
August 4What do you call a nervous surfboard? A little board-erline.
August 5Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
August 6What is a dog's favorite thing about August? The dog days, of course.
August 7Why did the tomato blush in August? Because it saw the salad getting dressed. (This is the oldest joke on the page and still gets the biggest laugh at our dinner table.)
August 8What do you call a fake noodle at a summer picnic? An impasta.
August 9Why did the watermelon go to the party? Because it was one in a melon.
August 10How do you fix a broken beach ball? With a beach-patch.
August 11What did the lemon say on a hot August day? When life gives me heat, I make lemonade.
August 12Why did the bee stay out all August? It did not want to miss the last of the flowers.
August 13What do you call an ant that goes on vacation? A tour-ant.
August 14Why did the sunflower always win? It stood tall under pressure.
August 15What is a frog's favorite August snack? A hopsicle.
August 16Why did the campfire go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter and warmer.
August 17What do you call a smore that tells jokes? A funny s'more-t.
August 18Why do bugs love the last weeks of summer? Fewer people around to swat them.
August 19What did one marshmallow say to the other by the fire? Do not get toasted without me.
August 20Why was the sandcastle so proud? It really held itself together all summer.
August 21What do you call a cat that loves the beach? A sandy-paws.
August 22Why did the pool break up with the diving board? It felt too much pressure.
August 23How does a lemon ask for a hug? It says give me a squeeze.
August 24What did the grape do when it got stepped on at the picnic? It let out a little wine.
August 25Why did the corn stalk get a promotion? It was a really good ear-ner.
August 26What did the sun say to the last week of summer? Do not fade on me now.
August 27Why did the boy pack a clock for the beach? He wanted to make the most of his time.
August 28What is a crab's favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat and a pinch of soul.
August 29Why did the towel lay by the pool all day? It liked to just hang out and dry.
August 30What did August say to September? Take it from here, I am beat.
August 31Why did the ice cream truck slow down in late August? It could feel the season melting away.
September: Back-to-School and Fall Jokes
Pencils, lunchboxes, and the first cool morning that means fall is coming.
September 1Why was the math book sad on the first day of school? It had too many problems.
September 2What is a teacher's favorite nation? Expla-nation.
September 3Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
September 4What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
September 5Why did the kid do homework on an airplane? He wanted a higher education.
September 6What is a pencil's favorite subject? Writing, it really gets the point.
September 7Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class? Because her students were so bright. (My kid's teacher actually did this on day one. Instant legend.)
September 8What building has the most stories? The library.
September 9Why was the broom late for school? It over-swept.
September 10What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on.
September 11Why did the clock get in trouble at school? It kept tocking too much.
September 12What is the king of all school supplies? The ruler.
September 13Why did the crayon get detention? It would not stay inside the lines.
September 14What do you call a fish that teaches? A school-teacher, naturally.
September 15Why did the backpack go to the doctor? It could not stop carrying so much weight.
September 16What is a snake's favorite school subject? Hiss-tory.
September 17Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
September 18What do you call a leaf that is scared of fall? A little chicken of the trees.
September 19Why do leaves never get lonely in September? They always fall together.
September 20What did one autumn leaf say to the other? I am falling for you.
September 21Why did the apple stop rolling in September? It ran out of juice.
September 22 (First day of fall)What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries, but only in the field.
September 23Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
September 24What do you call a tree in the fall? Re-leaf-ed that summer homework is over.
September 25Why did the student bring a bell to class? To ring in the new school year.
September 26What did the calculator say to the student in September? You can count on me.
September 27Why are September mornings so honest? They finally cool it with the heat.
September 28What do you call a sleepy student on the bus? A snooze cruiser.
September 29Why did the notebook feel proud? It was finally getting used again.
September 30What did the tree say on the first day of fall? Time to leaf it all behind.
October: Pumpkin, Leaf and Halloween Jokes
Leaves, pumpkins, and the spookiest night of the year.
October 1Why don't skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? They have nobody to go with.
October 2What do you call a pumpkin that works out? A jack-o-lantern with abs of gourd.
October 3Why did the leaf go to the doctor in October? It was feeling a little green.
October 4What is a ghost's favorite dessert? I scream.
October 5Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
October 6What do you call a witch at the beach in October? A sand-witch.
October 7Why did the scarecrow get a raise? He was outstanding in his field, again. (We have two scarecrow jokes on this page. I regret nothing.)
October 8What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music.
October 9Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It ran out of juice halfway and had to roll.
October 10What do you call a skeleton who won't do chores? Lazy bones.
October 11Why don't mummies take vacations? They are afraid to unwind.
October 12What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
October 13How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
October 14What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-etti.
October 15Why did the candy corn go to school? To become a smartie.
October 16What is a monster's favorite recess game? Hide and shriek.
October 17Why was the broom running late on Halloween? It over-swept again.
October 18What do you call a cold, spooky wind? A brrr-eeze.
October 19Why do witches fly on brooms? Because vacuum cords are too short.
October 20What is a ghost's favorite ride at the fair? The scary-go-round.
October 21What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
October 22Why are spiders so good at Halloween? They spin the best webs and decorations.
October 23What did the pile of leaves say to the rake? Leaf me alone.
October 24Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
October 25What do you call a fashionable pumpkin? Gourd-geous.
October 26Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? For the spare ribs.
October 27What is a bat's favorite school subject? Flying, it is a real high point.
October 28Why did the ghost join the band? It had a lot of spirit.
October 29What do owls say on Halloween? Trick or hoot.
October 30Why did the black cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
October 31 (Halloween)What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other on Halloween night? Cut it out, you look great.
November: Thanksgiving and Cozy Jokes
Turkey, gratitude, and the couch you will not leave.
November 1What did the flag say on Veterans Day? Nothing, it just waved with pride.
November 2Why did the leaf pile take a nap? It was all raked out.
November 3What is a turkey's least favorite month? You already know.
November 4What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to at Thanksgiving? Plymouth Rock.
November 5Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it was not chicken.
November 6What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
November 7Why did the cranberries turn red at Thanksgiving? Because they saw the turkey dressing. (My grandma tells this one every year and I laugh every year. That is the whole point of these.)
November 8What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
November 9Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carats.
November 10What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.
November 11 (Veterans Day)Why do we always invite the potato to dinner? It is a real peeler of the community.
November 12What did one autumn tree say to the other? I am board of holding these leaves.
November 13Why did the gravy boat get a ticket? It was speeding down the mashed potatoes.
November 14What is a scarecrow's favorite month? Harvest season, hands down.
November 15Why did the turkey join the band? It already had the drumsticks.
November 16What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.
November 17Why are November mornings so quiet? Even the leaves have settled down.
November 18What did the pie say when it was full? I am stuffed, just like everyone else.
November 19What is the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The tur-key.
November 20Why did the boy bring a ladder to Thanksgiving? He heard the food was piled high.
November 21What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
November 22Why did the corn get invited every year? It always had a-maize-ing stories.
November 23What did the plate say at Thanksgiving? Lunch is on me, and dinner, and leftovers.
November 24Why are leaves so good at November? They know when to let go.
November 25What is a football player's favorite Thanksgiving food? A quarter-pounder with extra yards.
November 26Why did the pumpkin pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
November 27 (Thanksgiving)What did the fork say to the Thanksgiving turkey? Nice to meat you.
November 28Why did the family put a sweater on the turkey? They wanted it stuffed and cozy.
November 29What do you call it when it rains on Thanksgiving? A wet blanket on the whole parade.
November 30What did November say to the calendar? Slow down, the year is almost done.
December: Christmas, Snow and New Year’s Eve Jokes
Snow days, holidays, and the last laugh of the whole year.
December 1What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
December 2Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
December 3What is Santa's favorite kind of music? Wrap music.
December 4What do you call an elf who sings off-key? A wrapper.
December 5Why was the snowman looking through the carrots again in December? Old habits.
December 6What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
December 7What do snowmen do on the weekend? Just chill. (My youngest says this one at least once a day from December first to New Year's.)
December 8Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to spruce up.
December 9What do elves learn first in school? The elf-abet.
December 10How does a snowman lose weight in December? He waits for a warm day.
December 11What is a snowman's favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes with extra frost.
December 12Why is it cold at Christmas? Because it is in Decem-brr.
December 13What do you call a snowman in a suit? Abdominal snow-manager.
December 14What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog in December? Frostbite and a happy tail.
December 15Why did Santa study astronomy? So he could travel from star to star.
December 16What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
December 17Why was the little candy cane sad? All its friends were in a twist.
December 18How do Christmas trees get online? They just log in.
December 19What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Eve? Sandy Claws.
December 20What is Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree.
December 21 (First day of winter)Why did the boy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash for the holidays.
December 22What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph.
December 23Why do Christmas trees like the past? Because the present is beneath them.
December 24 (Christmas Eve)What kind of photos do elves take? Elf-ies.
December 25 (Christmas Day)How does a snowman get around town in winter? He rides an icicle built for two.
December 26What did one ornament say to the other? I feel like we are just hanging around.
December 27Why did the turkey skip Christmas dinner? It was still stuffed from November.
December 28What do you sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
December 29What do you call a snowman that tells jokes on New Year's Eve? A real ice-breaker.
December 30What did the little firework say to its parents on New Year's Eve? I want to stay up and go off at midnight.
December 31 (New Year's Eve)What did the balloon say on New Year's Eve? I am ready to have a blast.
Questions parents actually ask
Is there really a different joke every day?
Yes, all 365. The box up top shows whichever one matches today, and it changes on its own overnight.
What ages are these good for?
Roughly 4 to 11. Real joke comprehension tends to click around age 6, so younger kids may laugh mostly at the silly words, which is completely fine.
Can my kid read these alone?
Most early readers can. They are short, clean, and there is nothing here you need to explain away.
Do the jokes match holidays?
They do. Check back on Halloween, the Fourth of July, or Christmas and the joke of the day fits the occasion.
Want more once you have burned through today’s? Try our big list of clean jokes for kids, the jokes for toddlers for the littlest ones, or a round of knock knock jokes for the car ride.
Want more than one a day? Our summer jokes for kids cover the whole break, and the would you rather questions for kids work great as a follow-up when the joke lands and they want to keep going.
