62 Halloween Jokes for Kids: Ghosts, Pumpkins and Puns

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Kid laughing while running, Halloween jokes for kids

Choose a ghost joke for a classroom break, a pumpkin pun for a lunchbox note or a knock-knock for trick-or-treating. These 62 Halloween jokes are grouped by character so you can find one without hunting through the whole list.

What you will find here

Halloween jokes that actually land

Start with the scarecrow or the spider. Their punchlines use familiar objects and are short enough to remember at the next doorstep.

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  2. What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
  3. Where do baby ghosts go while their parents work? Day scare.
  4. What is a spider’s favorite thing to make? Web sites.
  5. What do owls say on October 31? Happy Owl-o-ween.
  6. What is a cat’s favorite Halloween dessert? Mice cream.
  7. Why do skeletons hate the winter? The cold goes right through them.
  8. What do you call a monster with no neck? The Lost Neck Monster.
  9. Why was the broom late to the party? It over swept.
  10. What is a Halloween party with no music? Boo ring.
  11. What do you call a nervous jack-o-lantern? A chicken squash.
  12. Why did nobody want to sit with the werewolf at lunch? He kept wolfing it down.

The scarecrow one is objectively the best joke on this page and it is not even Halloween specific. I have made peace with that.

Ghost jokes

  1. Why did the ghost go to the party alone? He had no body to go with.
  2. What room does a ghost never need in a house? The living room.
  3. How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise.
  4. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
  5. Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them.
  6. What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair? The roller ghoster.
  7. Where do ghosts buy their stamps? At the ghost office.
  8. What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Watch the board and I will go through it again.
  9. What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? Booberries.
  10. Why do ghosts love riding elevators? It lifts their spirits.
  11. What kind of streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends.

Skeleton jokes

  1. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to get up? Lazy bones.
  2. Why do skeletons stay so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
  3. What instrument does a skeleton play? The trom-bone.
  4. How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone.
  5. What do skeletons say before dinner? Bone appetit.
  6. Why was the skeleton laughing so hard? Somebody tickled his funny bone.
  7. How does a skeleton know a storm is coming? He feels it in his bones.
  8. What is a skeleton’s favorite meal at a barbecue? Spare ribs.
  9. What do you call a skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.

Try a short skeleton joke when you want a quick punchline.

Witches, vampires, mummies, and the rest of the monsters

Witches, vampires and mummies each bring a different kind of wordplay. The witch spelling joke is a useful choice for children who know that spells can mean magic.

  1. What do you call a witch at the beach? A sandwich.
  2. Why do witches fly on brooms? Vacuum cords are not long enough.
  3. What is a witch’s best subject at school? Spelling.
  4. How do witches keep their hair in place? With scare spray.
  5. What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom mates.
  6. Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat hat? There was no point in it.
  7. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
  8. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  9. What is a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
  10. Why did the mummy take a vacation? He needed to unwind.
  11. What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music? Wrap.
  12. What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed? A crummy mummy.
  13. Why did the werewolf need braces? He had too many canines.
  14. What do monsters wear on the bottom half? Boo jeans.

Pumpkin jokes and Halloween candy puns

  1. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  2. Why was the jack-o-lantern so scared? It had no guts.
  3. What do you call a very round pumpkin? A plumpkin.
  4. How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
  5. What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
  6. Why did the candy bar go to school? It wanted to be a Smartie.
  7. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw berries.
  8. Why did the pumpkin sit in the middle of the road? It wanted to be squashed.
  9. What do you call a pumpkin that works out? A jacked-o-lantern.

The dropped-pumpkin joke has a one-word answer. Squash names a plant and also describes what happens when something is crushed.

Halloween knock knock jokes

Use these between houses or let two children take turns with the question and reply. Pause before the final line.

  1. Knock knock. Who is there? Boo. Boo who? Do not cry, it is only a joke.
  2. Knock knock. Who is there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you is giving me candy?
  3. Knock knock. Who is there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood.
  4. Knock knock. Who is there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you cannot guess who I am.
  5. Knock knock. Who is there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go trick or treating?
  6. Knock knock. Who is there? Handsome. Handsome who? Hand some candy through the door.
  7. Knock knock. Who is there? Olive. Olive who? Olive in the haunted house next door.

More jokes to try next

Before you go

Pick five, not fifty. A kid who nails five jokes has a better night than one who half remembers thirty. And if the joke flops at the door, that is part of it. Give the punchline a beat, then move on to the next door.

Questions people ask

Which Halloween jokes work for younger children?

Start with familiar words: the dropped pumpkin, the spider making web sites or the ghost who needs no living room. Try a joke yourself first and explain an unfamiliar word after the punchline.

Are these Halloween jokes clean?

They avoid profanity and sexual material. They mention ghosts, skeletons and vampires, so choose the characters your child enjoys and skip a spooky topic that bothers them.

Which one should my kid open with at the door?

The scarecrow joke. It is short, adults get it instantly, and it does not need any Halloween setup to make sense.

How do I help my kid actually land a joke?

Slow down before the punchline and stop talking after it. Kids rush the ending and then explain it. The pause does most of the work.

Can I use these for a classroom party or party favors?

Yes. Choose a short joke for a slip of paper in a candy bag, a lunchbox note or a quick classroom warm-up. Give the reader enough room to see the setup and answer separately.


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