Have you ever noticed how often we refer to clocks in our day-to-day lives? We “clock in” at work, we’re always racing against the “clock,” and who hasn’t experienced the infamous “five o’clock traffic?” No wonder clocks make for such a timeless topic when it comes to humor. Whether you’re a fan of puns or wordplay, or if you just need a good laugh, we have curated a list of jokes about clocks that will definitely make your day a little lighter. So, without further ado, let’s tick-tock our way through this laughter-filled journey!
25 One-Liner Jokes about Clocks
- Why did the clock get a timeout? Because it wouldn’t stop ticking!
- How do we know that clocks are wise? Because they go clockwise!
- I once had a job in a clock factory. I spent all day making faces!
- Why was the clock proud of itself? Because it was ahead of its time!
- How do we know clocks are athletic? They always have time on their hands!
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
- What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look, no hands!
- Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? Because it tocked too much!
- What do you call a grandfather clock? An old timer!
- Why don’t clocks work with free time? They always charge per hour!
- How does a clock do its schoolwork? It uses a pro-“tractor”!
- Why don’t clocks ever get lost? Because they always know the time and place!
- How did the clock save its job? It wound itself up!
- Why don’t clocks need to diet? Because they’re always winding down!
- Why was the clock nervous for its performance? It had to keep up with the time!
- What do you call a clock on a moon? A lunar-tick!
- Why don’t clocks use social media? Because they can’t handle the time lapse!
- Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many ticks!
- Why is time the best teacher? Because it waits for no one!
- What did the clock say to the calendar? You’ve got a lot of dates but I have all the time!
- How do clocks greet each other? “Long time, no see!”
- Why was the clock in the cafeteria? It wanted to go back four seconds!
- What’s a clock’s favorite type of music? Tick-hop!
- What’s a clock’s favorite dance move? The tick-tock!
- What did the minute hand say to the hour hand? Don’t get ahead of yourself!
From groan-worthy puns to hilariously clever quips, these one-liners about clocks are sure to break the ice at your next social gathering or bring a chuckle to your daily routine.
25 Two-Part Jokes about Clocks
- Why did the alarm clock go to school?
Because it wanted to learn about “tick-onometry!” - Why did the clock break up with its girlfriend?
She said he was just killing time. - Why was the clock always second in the race?
Because time was always first. - Why did the hour hand break up with the minute hand?
Because it found out she was moving too fast! - What do you call an alligator wearing a clock around its neck?
An investi-gator of “time.” - Why did the clock go to the bank?
It wanted to save time. - What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds. - Why was the clock at the bar?
It needed a “minute” to unwind. - Why did the man throw his clock out of the window?
He wanted to see time fly! - What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds. - What do you call a clock who sings?
A “watch”-ist. - Why did the clock go to the doctor?
It was feeling “tick”-ish. - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the “guts” for it. - What do we call a grandfather clock that doesn’t work?
A grandfa-“stop” clock. - Why was the computer cold at the office?
It left its Windows open. - Why was the belt clock arrested?
Because it was holding up a pair of pants! - What does a clock do when it’s feeling stressed?
It “winds” down. - Why was the clock told to be quiet in the classroom?
Because it “tocked” too much! - What did the annoying clock say to the bored clock?
“Can I tick you off?” - Why didn’t the clock get invited to the party?
Because it was too “tick-tick”-lish. - Why don’t clocks get along with trees?
Because of their “barking” seconds. - Why was the clock a good listener?
Because it always gave its “second” opinion. - Why don’t clocks make good comedians?
Their timing is always off. - What do you call a story that one clock tells to another?
Second-hand information. - Why did the clock visit its psychiatrist?
Because it had a case of “second” thoughts.
25 Clock Puns
- When it comes to clock puns, it’s always about the right “timing.”
- I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a “waist” of time.
- I used to work at a clock factory, but I got too “wound up” in my work.
- A broken clock isn’t necessarily wrong – it’s just having a “minute” breakdown.
- A clock’s favorite type of fruit is a “tick”berry.
- Clockmakers have to be very careful; otherwise, they might face “time.”
- A clock master’s favorite exercise is “winding up.”
- A clock’s favorite meal is “minute” rice.
- A clock’s favorite movie is about “time.”
- A clock’s favorite actor is “Tick”olas Cage.
- Clocks don’t like secrets because they always “tick” off.
- When a clock is hungry, it goes back “four seconds.”
- Clocks don’t like spicy food because it makes them “tick.”
- Clocks have their own social network called “Tick-Tock.”
- A clock’s favorite song is “Time after Time.”
- A clock’s favorite TV show is “60 Minutes.”
- Clocks always have “time” on their hands.
- Clocks don’t like to eat slow-cooked food because it’s too “time” consuming.
- A clock’s favorite book is “A Brief History of Time.”
- Clocks are the best employees because they always work “overtime.”
- When a clock gets a flat tire, it becomes a “wheely” long time.
- A clock’s favorite type of math is “geometry.”
- A clock’s favorite type of car is a “Timex.”
- When a clock retires, it enjoys its “time” off.
- A clock’s favorite musician is Justin “Timer”lake.