75 Jokes about Clocks: It’s TIME for Fun!

Have you ever noticed how often we refer to clocks in our day-to-day lives? We “clock in” at work, we’re always racing against the “clock,” and who hasn’t experienced the infamous “five o’clock traffic?” No wonder clocks make for such a timeless topic when it comes to humor. Whether you’re a fan of puns or wordplay, or if you just need a good laugh, we have curated a list of jokes about clocks that will definitely make your day a little lighter. So, without further ado, let’s tick-tock our way through this laughter-filled journey!

25 One-Liner Jokes about Clocks

  1. Why did the clock get a timeout? Because it wouldn’t stop ticking!
  2. How do we know that clocks are wise? Because they go clockwise!
  3. I once had a job in a clock factory. I spent all day making faces!
  4. Why was the clock proud of itself? Because it was ahead of its time!
  5. How do we know clocks are athletic? They always have time on their hands!
  6. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
  7. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look, no hands!
  8. Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? Because it tocked too much!
  9. What do you call a grandfather clock? An old timer!
  10. Why don’t clocks work with free time? They always charge per hour!
  11. How does a clock do its schoolwork? It uses a pro-“tractor”!
  12. Why don’t clocks ever get lost? Because they always know the time and place!
  13. How did the clock save its job? It wound itself up!
  14. Why don’t clocks need to diet? Because they’re always winding down!
  15. Why was the clock nervous for its performance? It had to keep up with the time!
  16. What do you call a clock on a moon? A lunar-tick!
  17. Why don’t clocks use social media? Because they can’t handle the time lapse!
  18. Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many ticks!
  19. Why is time the best teacher? Because it waits for no one!
  20. What did the clock say to the calendar? You’ve got a lot of dates but I have all the time!
  21. How do clocks greet each other? “Long time, no see!”
  22. Why was the clock in the cafeteria? It wanted to go back four seconds!
  23. What’s a clock’s favorite type of music? Tick-hop!
  24. What’s a clock’s favorite dance move? The tick-tock!
  25. What did the minute hand say to the hour hand? Don’t get ahead of yourself!

From groan-worthy puns to hilariously clever quips, these one-liners about clocks are sure to break the ice at your next social gathering or bring a chuckle to your daily routine.

25 Two-Part Jokes about Clocks

  1. Why did the alarm clock go to school?
    Because it wanted to learn about “tick-onometry!”
  2. Why did the clock break up with its girlfriend?
    She said he was just killing time.
  3. Why was the clock always second in the race?
    Because time was always first.
  4. Why did the hour hand break up with the minute hand?
    Because it found out she was moving too fast!
  5. What do you call an alligator wearing a clock around its neck?
    An investi-gator of “time.”
  6. Why did the clock go to the bank?
    It wanted to save time.
  7. What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
    It goes back four seconds.
  8. Why was the clock at the bar?
    It needed a “minute” to unwind.
  9. Why did the man throw his clock out of the window?
    He wanted to see time fly!
  10. What did the clock do after it ate?
    It went back four seconds.
  11. What do you call a clock who sings?
    A “watch”-ist.
  12. Why did the clock go to the doctor?
    It was feeling “tick”-ish.
  13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    They don’t have the “guts” for it.
  14. What do we call a grandfather clock that doesn’t work?
    A grandfa-“stop” clock.
  15. Why was the computer cold at the office?
    It left its Windows open.
  16. Why was the belt clock arrested?
    Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
  17. What does a clock do when it’s feeling stressed?
    It “winds” down.
  18. Why was the clock told to be quiet in the classroom?
    Because it “tocked” too much!
  19. What did the annoying clock say to the bored clock?
    “Can I tick you off?”
  20. Why didn’t the clock get invited to the party?
    Because it was too “tick-tick”-lish.
  21. Why don’t clocks get along with trees?
    Because of their “barking” seconds.
  22. Why was the clock a good listener?
    Because it always gave its “second” opinion.
  23. Why don’t clocks make good comedians?
    Their timing is always off.
  24. What do you call a story that one clock tells to another?
    Second-hand information.
  25. Why did the clock visit its psychiatrist?
    Because it had a case of “second” thoughts.

25 Clock Puns

  1. When it comes to clock puns, it’s always about the right “timing.”
  2. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a “waist” of time.
  3. I used to work at a clock factory, but I got too “wound up” in my work.
  4. A broken clock isn’t necessarily wrong – it’s just having a “minute” breakdown.
  5. A clock’s favorite type of fruit is a “tick”berry.
  6. Clockmakers have to be very careful; otherwise, they might face “time.”
  7. A clock master’s favorite exercise is “winding up.”
  8. A clock’s favorite meal is “minute” rice.
  9. A clock’s favorite movie is about “time.”
  10. A clock’s favorite actor is “Tick”olas Cage.
  11. Clocks don’t like secrets because they always “tick” off.
  12. When a clock is hungry, it goes back “four seconds.”
  13. Clocks don’t like spicy food because it makes them “tick.”
  14. Clocks have their own social network called “Tick-Tock.”
  15. A clock’s favorite song is “Time after Time.”
  16. A clock’s favorite TV show is “60 Minutes.”
  17. Clocks always have “time” on their hands.
  18. Clocks don’t like to eat slow-cooked food because it’s too “time” consuming.
  19. A clock’s favorite book is “A Brief History of Time.”
  20. Clocks are the best employees because they always work “overtime.”
  21. When a clock gets a flat tire, it becomes a “wheely” long time.
  22. A clock’s favorite type of math is “geometry.”
  23. A clock’s favorite type of car is a “Timex.”
  24. When a clock retires, it enjoys its “time” off.
  25. A clock’s favorite musician is Justin “Timer”lake.